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What do you do?

What do you do? What do you do when you wake up one day to find out you aren't really who you thought you were to begin with? That what you planned for you didn't want? That what you really want you can't have? That you shouldn't have, because you should want what you don't want to begin with? What do you do?

That's part of being human, we change, little by little, everyday, and sometimes we aren't paying attention when it's happening and one day, we notice the changes all at once. It's not really that you've changed so much as your perspective on things have. You're still you, and you always will be. But how you approach things is no longer the way it once were. Ten years from now it'll probably be different than it is today. People don't really change, just their perspective does.

And as far as what you want, wanting what you shouldn't want, and not wanting what you should want... It's you who decides what you want and should have, you should make choices that will make you happy, not ones that will appease others. If you live trying to appease others, you'll only end up miserable. Live your life as though it's the last one you'll ever have, you're last chance at happiness, each day with no regrets...

It's true...


     I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like everyone is trying to smother me with all their authority or I feel like the loneliness within me is going to take over and I would stop talking all together. It seems I have no way with words anymore. My mouth just clamps up and watch everyone else talk and give a little nod here and a little laugh there. 



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October 2008


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